We live in a world where we are constantly judging others and ourselves too. It’s so bad that we are comparing ourselves to others to see where we stand in society’s eyes. We think our friends and family see us in the same light. Although some of them do, many of them don’t. We are our own worst critic. I know first-hand what it’s like to be a bully to yourself. I could never imagine bullying another person, but it’s become way too easy to beat myself up. I put myself down pretty regularly and when I feel like I’m failing, I’m the first one to call myself worthless. I’m still on a journey to find where this extreme self-hate comes from. Both of my parent’s thought I was and still think I am beautiful. They always made sure to tell me. Peers were a different story. Not as much when I was real young, but as I got older, it became harder and harder to make friends. I hated the way looked and was always worried that the other girls were judging me and the guys would wish I were them. It wasn’t the case though. Looking back, I was adorable and very likeable. I was quiet, and that was a huge turn off for most. But I had the looks. I sure do wish I had taken advantage of them more. Not that I wish I got around more, but I wish I had the confidence. I couldn’t even tell you when the first time I started covering my stomach when I ran or when I sat down. I always had a pillow in my lap or wore baggy clothes. I had nothing to hide. I know that now, but I would love to go back and tell myself that I was a catch. Somewhere along the line, I felt ugly, fat and lots of guys thought I was hot and lots of girls wanted to have my body. We’ve been trained to think a certain weight or body type determines our beauty. We think other’s won’t accept us, therefore not accepting ourselves. We shouldn’t wait to lose the weight to love our bodies. Sure, be active, eat healthier, lose the weight…but teach yourself to love the body you’re in no matter what. I’m not there yet, but I want be. Let’s find out self love together.
Peace & Love